A DRS'd Up Argument

Post the first day showings of Australia against an Indian bowling attack(?), the collective conscience of the country has risen up to fever pitch. The Indian bowlers who had been expected to falter like the European economy and breakdown like the Indian parliamentary system are no less clueless about their exploits than the unsuspecting Australian media and public. While Umesh Yadav had trouble realizing that leaking runs at more than five per over is so totally gross in a Test match, Zaheer wondered why the hell his team's batsmen make such a ruckus about the Oz pitches when his deliveries hardly behaved anymore venomously than the python in the Sydney zoo who had a lamb for lunch. Ishant Sharma ambled around like a sooner than expected resurrected Jesus Christ with as much interest in the game as Judas in Christmas. Yet 

Harbhajan to the Rescue of the Mentally Diseased

Harbhajan - A modern day Messiah!!

In an important press release, a leading mental health research institute of the country has announced that patients of clinical depression in the most advanced stages are responding positively to treatment after reading the latest news report that Harbhajan Singh has declared his fitness to play and desire to make it large. The accompanying report contains data from the trials conducted on the most hopeless of the patients who had found no relief for their mental agitation even after being administered with elephant tranquilizers. Reportedly, these candidates showed immediate signs of improvement after reading Bhajji's proclamations. “A few of them slept like babies” – said the beaming lead researcher.

IDEA - India Finds A Way To Win

BCCI, ever the evangelist, has come up with a revolutionary new format to bring uniformity of play in Cricket matches. The technical committee, which rushed in for an emergency session after learning that major sponsors have threatened to take their money to Hockey after India’s deplorable performance in England, has drafted a bill that suggests that all Test and ODI matches be played in a format where both teams will face the same bowling attack.

A spokesman informed that the different pitch conditions, varying weather and especially those inhumanly fast seam bowlers are seriously undermining India's prospects. To address these concerns, the board will co-ordinate a clandestine effort to replace pitch curators around the world with Indian expats who will ensure that India-like pitch conditions are enforced in all cricket grounds. This along with the new proposed format will make India absolutely invincible, if the sources are to be believed. "Weather though, still remains beyond our control" - admitted the spokesman.